


i'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head

by thisismetrying



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Drabble, Fairy Tale Elements, Prompt Fill, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 16:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30108519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismetrying/pseuds/thisismetrying
Summary: She doesn’t remember when it started, but at some point between pocketing half of Alma’s tranquility refurbishing pills and her first chug of beer, Beth started to think of herself as a villain.-Seven Days of TQG drabbles for prompt: "fairytale"
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8
Collections: TQG Drabble/Fanworks Prompts - Seven Days of Drabbles





	i'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [HumiliatedRook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HumiliatedRook/pseuds/HumiliatedRook) in the [TQG_fanworks_prompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TQG_fanworks_prompts) collection. 



> **Prompt: fairytale**
> 
> Title from Halsey's "Control"
> 
> Thanks to @HumiliatedRook for organizing this!

She doesn’t remember when it started, but at some point between pocketing half of Alma’s tranquility refurbishing pills and her first chug of beer, Beth started to think of herself as a villain.

Of course, it would be easier to make someone else the villain. It would be easy to think of her mother and her father and Alma as neglectful, abandoning her with little more than crumbs, a Gretel without a Hansel. It would be easy (and not unwarranted) to think of the boys’ club that chess is as an angry mob of villagers who don’t understand. It would be easy to think of Benny as a dark sorcerer with ambiguous motives, offering her a bargain she perhaps shouldn’t accept. It would be easy to think of Cleo as the temptress who lured the heroine into sin and debauchery just before the big battle.

But it is harder (and easier all at the same time) to see yourself as a villain. She sees it reflected on the ceiling as she goes through openings, as she plays through games in her head. Knight against knight, the armor lifts in those moments of clarity, like she’s looking at the mirror on the wall and she realizes she was playing against herself all along. Each swallow of a pill, each shot of liquor, each broken heart left in her wake, only confirms her own villainy.

Then, in Moscow, she rejects the old witch’s proffered apple of alcohol, Librium, and self-doubt. When she wins against Borgov, it is not slaying the dragon guarding the castle and intent on keeping all the magic for himself. It is not even a white queen claiming her kingdom. It is Beth, a human girl of twenty, not a hero or a villain, playing the game she loves.


End file.
